Portrait in the Manor

from by Twinkle Park

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"I'm not that girl anymore" or is that just a cop-out? Yes, I'm still the same girl, but my outlook has changed. Well, things got pretty dark for a bit, but now I'm on the upswing, and better prepared for the ifs and whens ahead.

"Hey, anyway”. You look like you haven't slept in weeks, please take my bed, I'll sleep on the couch. Tired thing, go get some rest.

There were times where I wanted to die, where every word I spoke was a lie. It's still hard to look back on, everything I kept locked inside.

Dear me, what a pretentious thing to say! But now that's something I know too, the way they look away and say "god bless" like it's the only way to save me from my eyeliner.

I was the portrait in the manor whose eyes follow you wherever you go. I was twenty-one years old and sixty-five and ten all at once. I'm trying to give this up, I'm trying not to cut myself off from much needed closure.


from All Fall Floral, released October 1, 2019


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